tomorrow i leave for Fl.or.i.da.!
Zu and i are spending a week with her grammie! and aunt K! i’m so excited to perhaps catch up a bit of sleep while grammie takes over baby-watch, and to hit the beach with my sis, and to see all the sights! i’lll miss my hard-workin-man, but it will be nice to have some time with my family, and for them to get to see Zuzu again before she gets even bigger!
one of my biggest fears about becoming a mom was that i would give up on writing. either A) because i wouldn’t have time for it or B) –the scarier one–because i wouldn’t want to.
essentially, i was scared of losing a big part of who i am. my art isn’t my identity, but its part of my identity; and a life without creativity? oh my.
but, oh happiness!, it isn’t the case! i’ve slowed down for now, but the time to write isn’t the issue, its the Desire i was scared of losing, and its there more than ever. it might take me a week or two to finish a poem but i’m still Working! and still Reading! its felt even more important to me to keep that part of my life vibrant&thriving since having her–something to sort the many-varied emotions of new motherhood and to tie my present-self to my past.
i’ve got clothes drying on the line, cupcakes in the oven for the youth girls tonight, and i’m watching Zuzu play on her playmat and listen to her daddy practice guitar.
oh and did i mention, the sun is shining?